Just a reminder to put it all into perspective

Remembering the bliss of birth

All anyone ever tells you about birth is “It’s such a blessing” (which it is) and you forget about the pain of childbirth as soon as you hold your beautiful newborn baby in your arms (which I hate to be the bearer of bad news, is a complete (Did I mention complete and absolute, bold faced lie). Unless an anvil fell on your head, immediately after giving birth, while holding your newborn and by some miracle missed your child, knocked you unconscious leaving you with amnesia…you will never forget the pain of childbirth. It is an indescribable, unforgettable, and unbearable pain…who could forget that, so why don’t we warn our sisters, friends, and other beloved women in our lives? I’ll tell you why, it wouldn’t change a thing. The pain would still be ‘that’ pain, and all it would do is make our girlfriends stress out and hurt even worse, besides if you dare to be different and actually go against the code and tell someone the truth, well, they won’t believe you anyways. I told my best friend that while waiting for the anesthesiologist, I told my husband if he didn’t find the damn doctor with the needle then I was going to jump out the large picture window that was in my hospital room. He knew I was serious. She thought I was kidding, speaking metaphorically to demonstrate the point, but I was serious. Dead serious! Not until she was in the throes of her own delightful birth did she recollect my words and realize damn, she was telling the truth!!! The scary, horrible, painful truth. Now, I had asked my sister in law (who had 4 children at the time, with no epidural) about the pain of childbirth and I never got a straight answer.Just the typical, you’ll forget about the pain once you hold your baby in your arms and look down into those beautiful eyes. After, I went through the lovely ordeal of childbirth; I called her and asked her “why didn’t you warn me?” Her answer to me was this, “it wouldn’t have changed anything and it would have freaked you out. Once you’re pregnant, it’s too late to change your mind because of a little pain (Little?) Besides, you never would have believed me!!!”And you know, we were on the phone (states apart) but I swear I heard laughter in her voice. You know that, I just pulled a joke on somebody laugh. I’m telling you, this club, it really does enjoy watching its provisional’s squirm. I was punked! But she was/is right; I would have thought she was crazy, a wimp, a liar, perhaps all of the above but I never would have believed and certainly could not have comprehended what child birth felt like.

About Deborah Cruz

The founder/editor of The TRUTH about Motherhood http://www.motherhoodthetruth.com
This entry was posted in child birth. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Just a reminder to put it all into perspective

  1. I know – I never quite know what to say to newly pregnant women when they ask. I found the pain so inhumanly, unimaginably awful that nothing NOTHING could have prepared me for it. But I don't think that would be helpful for them to hear, so… I waffle a bit. I do know other women who had drug free births that seemed to manage the pain a lot better, so I tend to talk about them!

  2. I hear you. I distinctly remember thinking right after giving birth, "Women do this more than once?!"Thanks for the follow, girl!

  3. Laina says:

    Yeah this is so true. My mom tried to tell me the same thing. "the pain disappears as soon as you see her face". Well, she is 22 months old and I can still remember EXACTLY how horrible the pain was like it was yesterday. So, I don't know what these people are talking about.

  4. Mrs. Beer says:

    The PAIN!!! All I can really remember feeling, besides the actual PAIN pain, is complete and utter panic." Panic" because there is no human way comprehend such immense, unbearable, unbelievable pain. If ONE man, just ONE could ever experience child birth in its entirety (including pregnancy), the world would be much different. I picture year-long maternity leave and live-in chefs and nannies and midwives. It would change everything!!

  5. I had c-sections for both of my boys, so I never experienced the pain of labor. In a way, I felt a little cheated. Because it's kinda like a secret motherhood club that I wasn't able to join. But on the other hand, c-section is it's own ball of wax and recovery from that was also hard and had it's share of pain. Regardless, motherhood includes pain. Anyway you serve it. It's part of the package. But then again, so is indescribable love, and overwhelming fear that your babies will get hurt and extraodinary guilt that you carry around forever for a million ridiculous things. Motherhood. It's hard to really wrap your mind around it until you've experienced it yourself, I guess. Wonderful post!!

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