Have you read the Alabaster cow? If not you are really missing out. Ericka at the Alabaster Cow is an amazingly, witty honest writer who will emphatically make you laugh, cry and shake your head in agreement. Now get over there and visit her while you can, she is on the precipice of writing greatness. Keep a look out, soon there will be upcoming novels!
Baby Poop, JTT, and a Monkey
I spent all day today covered in poop.
That’s the typical story isn’t it? The no shower, stink to high heaven, realize you stepped in Chihuahua shit an hour too late scenario that seems to stick to our motherly asses like chewed gum on a subway seat.
Or is it just me?
I only want one child. Does the fact that I didn’t realize I had my daughter’s feces smeared on my shirt and my shorts until three in the afternoon somehow justify this? Certainly. Is there more to the story? You bet your backside there is.
This life isn’t the one I had carved out for myself when I was younger. I had spent countless minutes whittling away at my potential future until it took the shape and form of the following:
· Publish my first novel by sixteen (I was of course willing to publish sooner but I reasoned I’d be able to handle the pressure at a more mature age. By which I mean sixteen).
· Gain the attraction of both Prince William and Jonathan Taylor Thomas which shouldn’t be too hard considering I was pretty sure I’d turn into a sixteen-year-old babe. This must have been the major clue that I was destined for a life of absolute beauty:
· Make a major decision and decide if I’d rather spend my life with JTT or Prince William. This one is obviously a head scratcher, folks.
· Publish consecutive novels and travel across the world for book signings and lectures.
· Buy a monkey.
As time went on I eventually nixed the monkey plan (I decided with all that money and fame that TWO monkeys would suit me that much better) and added the part about me obtaining my MFA, going on and securing my PhD under my belt and of course teach and write and maybe break into acting. It’s the natural progression of things, no?
But instead of lounging in the back of my limo, popping a bottle of bubbly with JTT (I’m Catholic so even though my forbidden love affair with the prince would be tres romantic, I’m afraid it would have been too much work and I’m too damn lazy and famous and rich for that), I spent the day covered in baby poop.
I love my daughter. There are tightly wound fibers in my heart that would deaden and drift away if I didn’t have that little lady in my life. But I only want that little lady and no other munchkins. Maybe it’s because my blood still contains my writerly ambitions. Maybe it’s because I have yet another novel manuscript bouncing around in my head. All I know is that I’m going to be an author one of these days. Not just for me, but for her.
People say I’m only dreaming. That one day I’ll get over my “one and done” philosophy and the whole writer schtick and that’ll I’ll want my own little Duggar clan. But that’s the thing: if I’m dreaming then this time the dream will stick.
Or else I’ll buy a monkey.
What a great point Ericka makes with this piece! We all need to hold on to our dreams so that we can be better parents to our children. We are the example that they base their lives on and if we lead lackluster lives covered in shit while watching life pass us by, what kind of an example will we be? Never let go of your dreams! You may have to change them up a little, postpone them for a little while, or even take an entirely different route to get to them ( the scenic route) but don’t let go of your dreams. I firmly believe that where there is a will, there is always a way. Even if you have to write that first novel during stolen moments in the middle of the night or while sitting there covered in a baby’s bodily fluid, don’t give up. The only way we certainly don’t achieve our goals is by not trying or giving up.
Thank you for the reminder ERICKA! We all had our dreams, and then we had our babies, Now, lets have our cake and eat it too!
Now, Please go visit ERICKA at the ALABASTER COW! You will thank me later! And follow this talented, humorous writer who shares her life and perspective with us in a very entertaining fashion.