Getting to Know You

Getting to know YOU

Hey Hey Hey..It’s Sunday..Time for another super exciting edition of Getting to know YOU..

*wanna play..copy the questions..answer them..then go to MannLand5 and link up*

The Q’s..

1. Thong or Granny Panties? 
 I am a thong girl. I can’t do the whole Granny panty thing, not enough junk in the trunk to accommodate all that material. J-Lo , I am not!
2. If you see a guy with his fly down, do you tell him?
 If I know him, for sure. If not, probably not. Don’t want some random to think I am coming on to him!

3. Spanx or no Spanx? 
 I hate them, but I am guilty of partaking. Normally not but if I am sporting a dress that is really fitted, don’t want any lumps that aren’t suppose to be there….I smooth!

4. Do you sleep in your sheets? 
 No,I sleep on my sheets under a down comforter..with one foot sticking out of the side:)LOL I get really hot , really easy…not a fan of being hot (temperature wise anyways) at bedtime!

5. What is your favorite Disney character? 
I like Tiana from Princess and the frog because she hung on to her dreams and pursued them and made them a reality..through hard work and determination!

6. Dream vacation spot?
Italy,Spain, Greece, pretty much anywhere on the Mediterranean or tropical and warm.

7. What is your dream job? 

Dream job would definitely be  parlaying my love blog into a column, then a book, and eventually become the next Dooce like blogger on the could only be made more dreamy if I could do it all while traveling the world with the big guy and my girls!

8. Who is your hero and why? 

My hero is anyone who pursues their dreams and never gives up, exhausting all potential.I am also particularly fond of people who live their lives in a way that they actually treat others the way they want to be treated in the world. And people who have respect for themselves, the planet,and others. If I had to pick one person, I would pick my friend Jennifer because she is an amazing human being and I aspire to be more like her!

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Now you can spread the LOVE

Finally, I’ve got a BUTTON!!! I’m so excited!Please take a button and place it on your site to show how much you love the TRUTH! Happy Mothering!
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First Ever FAWK You FRIDAY

BWS tips button

Fawk you to the excruciatingly miserable heat! Hey Heat, you suck! I’m melting and frizzing up over here..NOT COOL! Thank God I get to take my family to a baseball heat stroke  game tonight. It shouldbe ever so pleasant melting out under the lights.

Fawk you to being chunky! This goes hand in hand with the heat, chunky in the heat = A very unhappy Mommy! Sweaty kids hanging on a already glistening Mommy , not my idea of family fun time.

Fawk you to me for not doing the exercise I was supposed to do this week.If I had, maybe I wouldn’t be so dang hot right now. But in my defense, I am pretty sure I would have had a heat stroke and died had I tried to do Turbo Jam in this weather. Then what would have become of my poor sweaty children? They would have been left to their own devices …bathing in the pool as my carcas rotted on the living room floor until my husband made it back in town on Friday. So ,really, its not my fault at all!

Fawk you to the 133 million under cover cops that are patroling the highways this weekend.I’ve got people to see and places to go, you are only slowing me down and making things a wee bit more dangerous when I have to drive constantly watching my rear view mirror.

Fawk you to stupid people ( damn heat induced grouchy attitude) ! But let me be honest, I have no tolerance for stupid people especially when I am in line at Walmart trying to buy some hot dogs and wine for tomorrows lunchtime bbq! Don’t jugdge me…I just realized how incredibly redneck that sentence made me sound. I actually made the remark about how redneck I felt buying hotdogs and wine at WALMART while in line there. The brain trust behind the register, obviously, did not see the humor in it. So, FAWK her too!

Posted in Uncategorized | 14 Comments

Throat Punch Thursday: Hot as hell edition

Throat Punch Thursday, obviously its a day late this week. As most of you know, being a Daddy’s away insomniac , I normally do my posts at 2  in the morning for the day. Last night, I was( still am) out of town ( yet again)  and by some freak of nature my husband and  I were in the same place at the same time..with a ready and willing Mother in Law to babysit.So,I hope you all can forgive me for being a day late but it was between posting my Throat Punch or snuggling with my husband. I chose to snuggle:) But here is the Throat Punch…
This weeks throat punch goes to the ridiculous heat wave that has been hitting the midwest over the past couple of weeks. I don’t so much mind the heat as this awful , God forsaken humidity. What is that all about? How am I supposed to maintain my composure and good looks when I am literally melting. I put on make up, it melts. I put on melts. I take a shower..I sweat before the water has even dried off. I know, sexy , right?  I’m all for being a HOT Mommy but not a hot, sweaty Mommy!The humidity is making me retain water. And to top it off, the only thing not melting is my hair. Which I spend an hour a day making look like this
only to walk outside and have it immediatley turn into this

 But really, lets be more like this

So, 94 degrees that feels like 104 degrees, thanks for making me look and feel so beautiful. I especially love the PMS like heat induced sunshiney attitude that the heat has triggered; my family thanks you to.So I am going to put the sunshiney attitude to good use and throat punch the effing heat wave! Thanks for nothing. I always wanted to look like a fat hooker in a church with really bad hair!Happy Friday!
Posted in frizzy hair, Heat wave, THROAT PUNCH THURSDAY | 3 Comments

It won’t be like this for long

It won’t be like this for long. I know it seems like I have been dwelling on this topic lately but its just been that kind of a week. My little girls seem to be growing up at lightening speed this summer and , quite honestly, its breaking my heart a little bit. Where did my chubby little newborns crying for me to breastfeed them in the middle of the night go? I may have been terminally exhausted but it was a blissful exhaustion. I wore my exhaustion proudly as some sort of badge, screaming to the world, I am A Mommy! I am AWESOME! It’s true there is a feeling of entitlement that comes with giving birth. Nothing feels quite like it. Sure, I complained about having no sleep, and was constantly questioning the Gods why she never stopped crying. But secretly,(shhhh) I really didn’t mind at all. Much like  I never really minded the unplanned co-sleeping, kissing booboos, or being the only person who could make their world right again. The same way I never minded having to lay down and cuddle them to get them to sleep, or have a lost lovey fed exed in from Grandma ChaCha because my toddler was inconsolable nor did I mind the tears they shed when I left them for the first time with someone else because ,secretly, I loved it all!I love being their everything even if it is a drag sometimes.
It seemed a lifetime before my little babies were capable of doing the simplest of tasks. Then ,it was like I looked away for a moment and suddenly , they were capable. Every milestone filled us with elation and pride. That first word couldn’t come fast enough; hearing their voices for the first time was like hearing the voice of God. Then quickly came rolling over, crawling, cruising, walking, all happened so fast it was like every accomplishment was hurled at me and knocked me onto my ass to sit helplessly and be witness to it all. The thing that no one ever tells you is that with every single new accomplishment, new worries ensue. Of course I wanted them to be more independent. But with each  iota of independence they gained, I had to relinquish a little bit of my heart. I am so proud to be the Mommy of such bright and independent little girls, but the pride is short lived and quickly  heartache takes its place, as I realize soon ….they won’t need me at all!
I can hardly believe how fast these past 5 years have passed and how much my life has changed from having my girls. Having them has certainly given me a greater purpose and increased my quality of life exponentially, in most regards. I can barely stand the thought that one day, in the not so distant future, I won’t be able to see them every day, and worse, they won’t mind.Why doesn’t anyone tell us about this before we get pregnant. The letting go has got to be the hardest part of Motherhood. I used to think they couldn’t live without me, but really, it’s me who will have difficulty surviving without seeing them every day. How do you survive when your heart has left your body? How do you function? They are like oxygen to my soul.Not in some creepy,I’m going to lock them in the basement until they are 40 type of way, I just mean how can you love someone so much and be expected to exist without them in your life at full capacity?
These precious moments that we have the privilege of being part of in our children’s lives pass by far too quickly.My rational self knows this is how this relationship is supposed to play out; my heart, however, has major problems with this whole situation and I am not afraid tell you, I think it is is trying to organize a coup on my good sense.This makes me reexamine my relationship with my own Mother. One day it will be me waiting patiently at home for my girls to call, and  its likely that the calls will never come soon or frequent enough. Soon, I will be the one wanting and needing their attention. Sorry, Mom! Hey, attention, none of this coming back around shit! I said I was sorry! Mom already has you working in cahoots with her to give me ” a couple little girls that act just like you (me)!” So, karma, lets stop all the craziness. I don’t want what I gave , I want more from my relationship with my own girls!
I just hope the Mother /Daughter relationship with my girls grows into friendship as they grow up.I want to be a woman who they look up to , want to emulate, and spend time with because of the kind of woman I am not just because they have to because I gave birth to them. I want them to come to me for advice and honesty and value my opinion. This is something that I have to work at now, because it won’t be like this for long.
But for now, I am going to cherish every single moment of co-sleeping snuggling and random “I LOVE YOU”s that I can get my hands on!

I had to share this video because, as some of you know, this is the song that my Bella looked me in the eyes and said ,”Mommy, this is me and your song!” She was dead serious and I was stopped dead in my tracks and brought to tears; as I am every single time I hear this damn song!I’m telling you, these girls of mine…they have got to stop growing up so fast!

Posted in ABBA, children growing up, DArius Rucker, It won't belike this for long, Slippin through my fingers | 11 Comments

Natural Beauty

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Mommy Truisms; because it is what it is!

The truth , the whole truth and nothing but my entire truth. I wish someone would have told me the truth, but I’ m sure I wouldn’t have believed them if they had tried! But no more,  I refuse to further take part in the vicious cycle of perpetuating the myth of constant Motherhood bliss by sharing my brutally honest truth about Motherhood!

  • When receiving your epidural during transition labor (first of all, if you are  in transition’ve missed your window of escaping the ordeal pain free), you certainly do not care what the consequences are of an epidural mishap. Chronic migraines? Possibility of paralysis?Death? Bring it on, at that point anything was better than the pain of my labor!
  • Looking into the eyes of your newborn for the first time is ,indeed, a Godlike moment filled with spirituality and you better believe it will change your life forever.
  • A baby changes everything is by far the most honest and underestimated advertising slogan of the century; of all time! Hell yeah; Pregnancy changes everything!
  • No penis ever blacked a fetus’ eye! I promise you, it doesn’t happen matter what your husband wants to believe!
  • Sometimes giving into whining, screaming and tantrums is an absolute must. Do not feel like a failure! Do not beat yourself up over it! Let it go! Serenity now!
  • Mom’s Night out is imperative to your sanity! Do it! Everyone will be happier, your husband will get lucky, and the kids will be glad Mommy has pulled the grouchy stick out of her ass! Trust me, I learned this the hard way!
  • Alone time with your husband is an absolute necessity for the survival of your marriage! Don’t feel guilty, if it weren’t for the love that you two share, those kiddies wouldn’t be here. Love your man, love yourself, love your life and you will be capable of loving your children even more.
  • Sometimes a large glass of wine, after the kids go to bed, is what needs to be done to help you decompress enough to move past all of the chaos of the day. Don’t feel guilty! Keep that damn bottle chilled and when you really need it, uncork it, and sip it to you feel all warm and fuzzy inside and all the shit (literal and metaphorical) from the day falls off of a nightie on your honeymoon.
  • Stay at Home Mom(SAHM) is the most underpaid, overworked, 24/7 job that a woman can ever undertake. It will let you know what you are really made  of. It’s the only job that will take you from the throes of hell to the gates of heaven within a 24 hour period and sometimes simultaneously.
  • Mommies who work outside of the home, they have double the work. We SAHM Mommies may be envious at times because they get to leave the house for a few hours, but then they have to deal with the guilt of leaving their children plus come home and do what we do all day…in 4 hours. So, cut each other some slack, its hard all the way around. There’s no getting around it; raising healthy, happy, intelligent,independent,  socially responsible humans is a lot of hard work! But I believe its worth it because in the end, no money can substitute for what a random “Me Love you MOMMY” feels like. That is priceless!

Happy Mothering!

Posted in A crappy day in the life of an otherwise perfect existence, daughters, honest Mommying, Mommy truisms | 10 Comments